Married with Children... All Things Episodic

scripts & transcripts on All Things Episodic



About the transcripts...
The transcripts use American English, including the drafts (which are copied directly from the script.)
The scripts are here for many reasons, e.g. the odd reference look-up, curiousity, or simply for enjoyment. Please have fun.
Forward any transcript requests to me. I plan to have all episodes done eventually. But for now...


SEASON ONE

s01e01 - 0101 - Pilot - second draft script
s01e01 - 0101 - Pilot - final draft script
s01e01 - 0101 - The Original (Unaired) Pilot - differences between this and the 'real' Pilot
s01e01 - 0101 - Pilot - transcript | illustrated
s01e02 - 0102 - Thinnergy - transcript | illustrated
s01e06 - 0103 - Sixteen Years And What Do You Get? - transcript | illustrated
s01e03 - 0104 - But I Didn't Shoot The Deputy - transcript | illustrated
s01e05 - 0105 - Have You Driven A Ford Lately? - transcript | illustrated
s01e04 - 0106 - Whose Room is it Anyway? - transcript | illustrated
s01e10 - 0107 - Al Loses His Cherry - transcript | illustrated
s01e09 - 0108 - Peggy Sue Got Work - transcript | illustrated
s01e07 - 0109 - Married Without Children - transcript | illustrated
s01e08 - 0110 - The Poker Game - transcript | illustrated
s01e12 - 0111 - Where's The Boss? - transcript | illustrated
s01e11 - 0112 - Nightmare On Al's Street - transcript | illustrated
s01e13 - 0113 - Johnny Be Gone - transcript | illustrated


SEASON TWO

s02e04 - 0201 - Buck Can Do It - transcript | illustrated
s02e01 - 0202 - Poppy's By The Tree (part 1) - transcript | illustrated
s02e02 - 0203 - Poppy's By The Tree (part 2) - transcript
s02e03 - 0204 - If I Were A Rich Man - first draft script
s02e03 - 0204 - If I Were A Rich Man - transcript
s02e07 - 0205 - For Whom The Bell Tolls - transcript
s02e05 - 0206 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (part 1) - final draft script
s02e08 - 0208 - Born To Walk - transcript
s02e09 - 0210 - The Razor's Edge - final draft script
s02e10 - 0210 - The Razor's Edge - transcript
s02e12 - 0211 - How Do You Spell Revenge? - transcript
s02e13 - 0213 - You Better Watch Out - transcript
s02e14 - 0214 - Guys And Dolls - final draft script
s02e15 - 0215 - Build A Better Mousetrap - transcript
s02e16 - 0216 - Master The Possibilities - transcript
s02e17 - 0217 - Peggy Loves Al - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - first draft script
s02e17 - 0217 - Peggy Loves Al - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - transcript
s02e18 - 0218 - The Great Escape - transcript
s02e20 - 0220 - Just Married... with Children - transcript
s02e21 - 0221 - Father Lode - transcript
s02e22 - 0222 - All In The Family - transcript


SEASON THREE

s03e04 - 0301 - A Period Piece - first draft script
s03e04 - 0301 - A Period Piece - transcript
s03e01 - 0302 - He Thought He Could - transcript
s03e03 - 0304 - Poke High - first draft script
s03e05 - 0305 - A Dump Of My Own - final draft script
s03e06 - 0306 - Her Cups Runneth Over - transcript
s03e07 - 0307 - The Bald and the Beautiful - final draft script
s03e07 - 0307 - The Bald and the Beautiful - transcript
s03e22 - 0308 - I'll See You in Court - transcript
s03e08 - 0309 - The Gypsy Cried - first draft script
s03e09 - 0310 - Requiem For A Dead Barber - transcript
s03e10 - 0311 - Eatin' Out - final draft script
s03e11 - 0312 - My Mom, The Mom - final draft script
s03e13 - 0314 - A Three Job, No Income Family - transcript
s03e14 - 0315 - The Harder They Fall - transcript
s03e15 - 0316 - The House That Peg Lost - final draft script
s03e16 - 0317 - Married With Queen (part 1) - first draft script
s03e17 - 0318 - Married With Queen: The Sequel - final draft script
s03e18 - 0319 - The Computer Show - transcript
s03e20 - 0321 - Life's A Beach - transcript
s03e21 - 0322 - Here's Looking At You, Kid - first draft script
s03e21 - 0322 - Here's Looking At You, Kid - transcript


SEASON FOUR

s04e01 - 0401 - Hot off the Grill - transcript
s04e02 - 0402 - Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics - first draft script
s04e02 - 0402 - Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics - transcript
s04e03 - 0403 - Buck Saves the Day - transcript
s04e04 - 0404 - Tooth and Consequences - transcript
s04e05 - 0405 - He Ain't Much, But He's Mine - transcript
s04e06 - 0406 - Fair Exchange - final draft script
s04e06 - 0406 - Fair Exchange transcript
s04e07 - 0407 - Desperately Seeking Miss October - final draft script
s04e07 - 0407 - Desperately Seeking Miss October - transcript
s04e08 - 0408 - 976-Shoe - final draft script
s04e09 - 0409 - Oh, What A Feeling - transcript
s04e10 - 0410 - At The Zoo - final draft script
s04e10 - 0410 - At The Zoo - transcript
s04e13 - 0411 - Who'll Stop The Rain - transcript
s04e11 - 0412 - It's A Bundyful Life (part 1) - transcript
s04e12 - 0413 - It's A Bundyful Life (part 2) - transcript
s04e14 - 0415 - A Taxing Problem - transcript
s04e16 - 0416 - You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em (part 1) - transcript
s04e18 - 0418 - What Goes Around Comes Around - transcript
s04e21 - 0419 - Raingirl - transcript
s04e19 - 0420 - Peggy Turns 300 - first draft script
s04e20 - 0421 - Peggy Made A Little Lamb - transcript
s04e22 - 0422 - The Agony of DeFeet - transcript
s04e23 - 0423 - Yard Sale - transcript


SEASON FIVE

s05e01 - 0502 - We'll Follow The Sun - transcript
s05e04 - 0504 - The Unnatural - first draft script
s05e07 - 0507 - Married with Aliens - final draft script
s05e07 - 0507 - Married with Aliens - transcript
s05e09 - 0509 - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - transcript
s05e11 - 0511 - And Baby Makes Money - transcript
s05e12 - 0512 - Married... with Who? - transcript
s05e13 - 0514 - The Godfather - transcript
s05e17 - 0518 - Oldies But Young'Uns - transcript
s05e21 - 0519 - You Better Shop Around (Part 1) - transcript
s05e23 - 0522 - Route 666 (part 1) - table draft script


SEASON SIX

s06e01 - 0601 - She's Having My Baby (part 1) - transcript
s06e02 - 0602 - She's Having My Baby (part 2) - transcript
s06e03 - 0603 - If Al Had A Hammer - transcript
s06e05 - 0605 - Looking For A Desk In All The Wrong Places - transcript
s06e07 - 0607 - If I Could See Me Now - transcript
s06e08 - 0608 - God's Shoes - transcript
s06e09 - 0609 - Kelly Does Hollywood (part 1) - transcript
s06e12 - 0612 - So This is How Sinatra Felt - transcript
s06e14 - 0614 - The Mystery of Skull Island - transcript
s06e18 - 0619 - Dinner With Anthrax - transcript
s06e23 - 0623 - The Gas Station Show - transcript


SEASON SEVEN

s07e02 - 0702 - T-R-A Something Something Spells Tramp - transcript
s07e04 - 0704 - Al On The Rocks - transcript
s07e07 - 0707 - The Chicago Wine Party - transcript
s07e10 - 0710 - Death of a Shoe Salesman - transcript
s07e13 - 0713 - Wedding Show - transcript
s07e14 - 0714 - It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This - transcript
s07e21 - 0721 - Movie Show - transcript
s07e22 - 0722 - Till Death Do Us Part - transcript
s07e23 - 0723 - Tis Time To Smell The Roses - transcript
s07e25 - 0725 - The Wedding Repercussions - transcript
s07e26 - 0726 - The Proposition - transcript


SEASON EIGHT

s08e01 - 0801 - A Tisket, A Tasket, Can Peggy Make A Basket? - transcript
s08e04 - 0804 - Luck of the Bundys - transcript
s08e12 - 0812 - Just A Little Off The Top - transcript
s08e13 - 0813 - The Worst Noel - transcript
s08e15 - 0814 - Honey, I Blew Up Myself - transcript
s08e18 - 0817 - Get Outta Dodge - transcript
s08e17 - 0818 - Valentine's Day Massacre - transcript
s08e19 - 0819 - Field of Screams - transcript
s08e23 - 0821 - Legend of Ironhead Haynes - transcript
s08e24 - 0824 - Assault And Batteries - transcript
s08e25 - 0825 - Ride Scare - transcript


SEASON NINE

s09e04 - 0904 - Naughty But Niece - transcript
s09e07 - 0907 - Dial B For Virgin - transcript
s09e08 - 0908 - Sleepless in Chicago - first draft script
s09e12 - 0913 - I Want My Psycho Dad (part 1) - transcript
s09e13 - 0914 - I Want My Psycho Dad: Second Blood (part 2) - transcript
s09e16 - 0917 - Get the Dodge Outta Hell - transcript
s09e17 - 0918 - 25 Years And What Have You Got? - transcript
s09e18 - 0919 - Ship Happens (Part 1) - transcript
s09e19 - 0920 - Ship Happens (Part 2) - transcript


SEASON TEN

s10e01 - 1002 - Guess Who's Coming To Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner? - transcript
s10e09 - 1011 - The Two That Got Away - transcript
s10e13 - 1012 - I Can't Believe It's Butter - transcript
s10e20 - 1020 - Turning Japanese - transcript
s10e23 - 1021 - Bud Hits the Books - transcript
s10e21 - 1022 - Al Goes to the Dogs - transcript
s10e24 - 1023 - Kiss of the Coffee Woman - transcript
s10e22 - 1024 - Enemies - second draft script
s10e25 - 1025 - Torch Song Duet - transcript
s10e26 - 1026 - The Joke's On Al - transcript


SEASON ELEVEN

s11e10 - 1101 - The Stepford Peg - transcript
s11e02 - 1102 - Children of the Corns - transcript
s11e01 - 1103 - Twisted - transcript
s11e12 - 1104 - Grime and Punishment - transcript
s11e03 - 1106 - Kelly's Gotta Habit - transcript
s11e11 - 1110 - Bud on the Side - transcript
s11e06 - 1111 - A Bundy Thanksgiving - transcript
s11e08 - 1113 - God Help Ye Merry Bundymen - transcript
s11e14 - 1116 - Breaking Up Is Easy To Do (Part 1) - table draft script
s11e16 - 1118 - Breaking Up Is Easy To Do (Part 3) - transcript
s11e19 - 1119 - Birthday Boy Toy - transcript
s11e21 - 1122 - Lez Be Friends - transcript
s11e22 - 1123 - Desperate Half Hour - transcript
s11e23 - 1124 - How to Marry a Moron - transcript






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