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                  MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN
                      EPISODE DATABASE
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 "Number one - he didn't respond to any of my commands... 
 and number two -- his brains are in the begonias." (Steve)

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 TITLE:  BUT I DIDN'T SHOOT THE DEPUTY
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 PRODUCTION #:  0104
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 EPISODE NUMBER ORDER:  003 
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 ORIGINAL AIR DATE:  April 19, 1987
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 DIRECTED BY: LINDA DAY
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 WRITTEN BY: RON BURLA
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 SUMMARY OF EPISODE:

 from Dean Adams' guide:

 There is a crime spree in the neighborhood. Steve and Marcy
 buy a Doberman after their house is robbed. Al and Peggy 
 buy a gun to protect themselves. A noise in the night tests
 both defenses. 

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 CAST:

 ED O'NEILL ............ AL BUNDY
 KATEY SAGAL ........... PEGGY BUNDY
 DAVID GARRISON ........ STEVE RHOADES
 AMANDA BEARSE ......... MARCY RHOADES
 CHRISTINA APPLEGATE ... KELLY BUNDY
 DAVID FAUSTINO ........ BUD BUNDY
 MIKE .................. BUCK THE DOG

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 RECURRING CHARACTERS:

 FRANK LLOYD ........... NORRIS

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 GUEST CAST:

 THOMAS HILL ........... MULDOON
 J. JAY SAUNDERS ....... BRONSON

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 REFERENCES
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 PEOPLE:

 ABZUG, BELLA
  - Steve and Marcy name their dog after Democrat Bella Abzug

 DONAHUE, PHIL
  - Bud: Well, when Dad was practicing his quick draws at 
         the TV during Donahue...
     Al: Ah, Bud, number one - shut up. And number two - it
         was Phil's salute to The Huge and Fat Women's 
         carcass... 

 LUGOSI, BELA
   - When they reveal the name of their new dog, Al asks: 
     Al: You named that dog after Bela Lugosi?
  Steve: No, Abzug.
  Marcy: We thought it was kind of cute... But he won't wear
         the hat.
        - the dog is later said to be wearing the hat when shot

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 PLACES:

 CHICAGO RIVER
 ILLINOIS
 VIRGINIA

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 FOOD/DRINK:

 BEER
 FISH
 FOWL
 KIBBLE
 WHEAT

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 GENERAL:
 
 NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

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 EPISODE STUFF
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 FACTS:

 Although this was the fourth episode produced, it was the 
 third episode to air.

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 GOOFS:

 Steve says that although Bella "only lived one year in dog 
 years, he lived seven in people years..." Shouldn't it be
 the other way around?

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 MUSIC:

 AMAZING GRACE
  - the people at the funeral hum this tune

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 MADE-UP STUFF:

 AHAB'S
  - Peggy knows to call them "when you don't want to cook"

 BOWL-N-BREW
  - a place the neighbors go to calm themselves down after 
    a prowler strikes

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 RUNNING GAGS AND REFERENCES:
  
 FEET/SHOES
   - Al: I'll tell ya something, Peg. Feet and the return of
         warm weather sure makes for a deadly combination.

 MARCY'S VIOLENCE
  -  Marcy: I say we hunt the scum down, then we run them 
            over with our cars. Then we get out these fish 
            hooks, and we...

 SEX
  - Peggy: There. That should buy us about 10 minutes... 
           7 more than we'll need.

  - Steve: Hope we're not interrupting anything. 
       Al: Naaaah, just going to have a little sex with the
           wife! What the heck, there's always next month.

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 STUFF YOU MAY HAVE MISSED:
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 TRIVIA:
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 SCRIPTS:

 Transcript

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 PICTURES:

 MWC Capture Gallery (DVD caps)

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 REVIEWS:
 
 by Grail
 by Justice

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 BUNDY STUFF
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 BELIEFS:

 CRIME & PROTECTION
  - Al: You can't depend on anybody but yourself.

  - Marcy: I'm talking about a real dog. A guard dog. A 
           Doberman. Steve, first thing tomorrow, we're 
           going to one of those deadly doggie places. 
    Steve: Yes, Al. Because we're against guns and the 
           voilence they stand for. 
    Marcy: That's right. A dog. A vicious dog. With sharp 
           teeth that'll go through a jugular like a hot 
           knife cutting through butter on a warm summer 
           night... So the next guy who tries to get in my  
           bedroom uninvited will walk out on bloody stumps!

 GUNS
  - Peggy: Bud, guns are not toys. They are lethal weapons 
           and should only be handled by responsible adults. 
      Bud: Well, when Dad was practicing his quick draws at 
           the TV during Donahue...
       Al: Ah, Bud, number one - shut up. And number two - it
           was Phil's salute to The Huge and Fat Women's 
           carcass; number three - there were no bullets in 
           the gun. Your mother took them out and hid them for
           safety reasons... and she won't tell me where!

  - Steve: Bela will be missed, but his death was not in 
           vain. He taught us about the value of life. 
           [pointedly to Al] And that guns and violence are 
           not the answer to society's ills.

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 CHARACTERS:
 
 AL
  - gets his car radio stolen
  - doesn't like being touched: 
    Steve: I know how you feel.
       Al: If you did, Steve, you wouldn't be touching me.
  - apparently Peggy says that he "can be loud, and annoying,
    and the whole neighborhood hates his guts, but at least 
    he's a good protector." (Marcy)
    Bud: Gee, Mom, that's just what you say about Dad.
  - accidentally shoots Steve and Marcy's dog, Bela, "in the 
    middle of a bowel movement"
  - pays the garbage man "twenty dollars and a six pack" to 
    take Bela to the landfill
  - cries over his buried bowling ball

 AL & PEGGY
  - seem turned on by the killing and/or Al's bravery
  - pay $150 for a crate to put some heavy things in it for 
    Steve & Marcy's funeral

 KELLY
  - is "failing five classes." (Bud)

 MARCY
  - her first violent streak is revealed
  - wants a thousand dollars from Al for killing their dog

 PEGGY
  - "can't get Al to dress unisex at all."
  - snores
  - hides the bullets to Al's gun in the fingerholes of his 
    new bowling ball. She later buries said bowling ball with
    some rocks in the backyard in place of the dog

 STEVE
  - now knows "why we got our house so cheap."

 STEVE & MARCY
  - decide to "let it go and forgive" Al
  - want to give Bela a proper burial


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 NICKNAMES:

 BIG GUY
  - Steve to Al
 DEAD EYE
  - Peggy to Al

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 NEIGHBORS:

 BRONSON
 MULDOON
 NORRIS


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                 (c) marriedaniac 2003-09
          have I missed something? let me know
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