Married with Children... All Things Episodic


1011  -  The Two That Got Away

Grail lovingly placed his teddy bear Sebastian in his favorite little 
chair by the hearthrug, poured himself some tea, munched on a chocolate 
digestive, and finally picked out:

Well, I was warned in advance not to expect much and that's 
probably a good thing. First off I'm not overly familiar with Shannon 
Tweed (though I've heard the name) and anyway she's not as good-looking 
as the MWC writers seemed to think. The Swedish pair were better. The 
story itself is, as Al himself says, a little dodgy even for this show; 
Al is right on the edge of betraying Peg at the end, and I found that 
inconceivable given that he wouldn't do it with Vanna White two seasons 
ago but is happy enough with Ms Tweed. 
The media auction is mildly amusing just as it was in "Ship 
Happens", poking fun at their voracious appetites and still relevant 
given the recent (UK)furore over Diana's death. But overall this 
episode is fairly disjointed and I got the vague impression it might've 
been a two-parter squeezed and cut down into one, for some reason. The 
episode is largely concerned with Al and Jefferson above all else but 
neither Ed O'Neill nor Ted McGinley  seem particularly lively. 
Rotten, in summary. 4/10.

Yeah, it's a shame.  The plot was as predictable as a North Korean 
election but they still could have done a lot with it.  It's usually 
nice to see the guys get out of the house and away from The Wives, but 
this time they were stymied, and for what?

But I think the basic problem was the central character.  I too have 
'heard of' Shannon Tweed but couldn't place her name or face in any 
films.  Maybe I don't hang out in the same circles as Al--AFAIK, I 
definitely don't, and thank God--but as I understand it she's a minor 
actress, starring in B-movies.  She's NOT the sort of person tabloids 
would clamor for.  I mean, they'd probably be interested in the picture 
but they wouldn't come to some schmuck's house and bid several thousand 
dollars for it!  Of course, I know "This is a comedy, it's exaggerated, 
yadda yadda..." but that doesn't quite excuse it.  I remember this one 
chiefly for the great descriptive lines delivered by Shannon about the 
guys: something like "a worn-out shoe salesman and an aging, goldigging 
pretty boy!"  Al gets a lot of insults but it's rare to see Jefferson 
get sussed out like that from a stranger.  McGinley then had one of the 
few Great Jefferson Lines: "What did she mean...'aging'?!" and IMHO he 
muffed it, delivering it too stiffly.

The media bidding was simply too slow-paced and dull-witted to be of 
interest to me.  It's a shame, because media characters like Kelly's 
co-anchor and Miranda are very funny indeed, proving they can sharply 
parody the press if they want.

BTW, lifeless as Shannon Tweed was, she was miles as an actress above 
Vanna White.  It's funny--Ed was a better actor with Vanna, but Shannon 
worked better with him, IMHO.  Worst guest overall: Vanna; most 
annoying guest: Charlene Tilton; Best sports guy guest: Fran Tarkenton; 
best beautiful girl guest: Brandi Brandt ("How about something in a man 
who'll give you anything he owns?")

By Carolyn Crapo


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