Episode: 0525 - Top of the Heap
Reviewer: Marriedaniac
Date reviewed: May-July 2003
Rating: 1.5/10 


Oh dear. What the hell was this? When you're expecting just a normal Married with Children
episode to appear on your TV screen, it can be quite a shock. I, for one, knew something was up 
when the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER credits were not covered in their usual slime. 

This episode is a Pilot for a Married with Children spin-off (strike while the iron is hot, but
as Michael Moye in the True Hollywood Story put it, "the iron wasn't hot enough"). Three of the
main characters are introduced in this episode, Charlie, Vinnie (actually, Charlie and Vinnie
were really introduced a few episodes earlier, in "Oldies But Young'Uns") and a babe-for-a-
neighbour, Mona. Mona only has the one brief scene near the beginning of the episode and I feel
the best way to sum her up is to quote Vinnie from a later Top of the Heap episode, "she's a 
Barbie doll who wants to be a blow-up doll." The actress playing Mona is Renee Zellweger look-
alike Joey Lauren Adams, who appeared in MWC on two other occasions, playing two different 
characters. (She once claimed that she was the one responsible for taking Bud's virginity in 0713
["Wedding Show"] but that's another day and another review!) Cigar-wielding Charlie Verducci is 
pretty much the Italian version of Al. He even uses the word "hooters". Vinnie Verducci is the 
male version of Kelly Bundy - good-looking and none too bright. He even has his share of 'Kellyisms'. 
Maybe the producers were thinking that if it worked for MWC, it might work for TOTH. 
But it didn't.

The opening scene quickly establishes their living situation - a cruddy, lower working class
apartment in a cruddy, lower working class neighbourhood. With hardly an inspired storyline, and
while MWC had more than its share of not-so subtle/original/inspired storylines, they are always 
executed well, but this does not really apply here. A simple rundown of the simple plot: Charlie 
Verducci comes up with one of his "Verducci Master Plan"s and they somehow manage to crash a 
high-society party in hopes of getting Vinnie to "marry a millionaire". Yuh-huh.

Al: I don't have to go to sleep after sex, I WANT to go to sleep after sex... I welcome the
    darkness.

Not to say that Bologna and Le Blanc are bad actors, which they aren't, they just haven't got
very much to work with. Which is a shame, really, as Ed O'Neill gets some great lines in his
brief shoe store scene while the Verducci actors get one or two, tops, in their scenes. They do
play quite well off each other, though.  As the ONLY Bundy to appear in the episode (I feel
robbed!) Al is undoubtedly welcomed by the studio audience (I mean, more than usual) and his
scene is a good one, even if it did end too soon. Al's scene reveals some funny Bundy moments,
like Al's recollection of conceiving his children (watching Get Smart, anyone?) Turns out Al 
bet his TV on Vinnie winning his boxing match and therefore lost it. Strange, as in "Kelly
Knows Something" (0823), Al says they've had their TV for 20 years. Damn sitcom continuity.

Then, alas, Al's gone. What happens after that? Well, not much. Charlie and Vinnie dress up in 
tuxedos and gain access to a high class party (I don't know, they crawled in through the back
window or something) and try to pass themselves off as high society people. They just about
manage to. 
The ending of the episode is a bit muffled, and quite frankly, boring. In short of saying this
episode is a great pile of {insert word of choice here}; whatever expectations it had, it does
not live up to any, and brings disappointment to many a Married with Children fan. 
What's remarkable is that Top of the Heap did actually become a series - albeit not a very long 
one. At just seven episodes short, it failed miserably in the ratings, but it did feature the 
occasional appearance from the Bundy offspring. Even if TOTH was given more of a chance, I doubt
it would've had the same effect on viewers as MWC, because, you know, it's, like, already been
done. The later spin-off attempt, Radio Free Trumaine (0926), would have made a better series.

Maybe what can you keep you watching this episode is knowing that Al will again appear at the 
end. Or maybe you just fancy Matt Le Blanc pre-Friends. (Hell, it's pretty much the same character
he plays in both shows!) Or big, fluffy, gorgeous cats that can box. Either way -- be warned.