Married with Children... All Things Episodic
0404 - Tooth & Consequences
I would have to rank this episode as possibly my all-time favorite. This episode has
everything: A great guest star in Joe Flaherty; Al catching Kelly with a boyfriend; a
former porn star as a dental tech; Marcy having a dental fantasy; etc.
The episode begins with the children having to get their dental records updated, and Al
and Peg do the dental check ups with flashlights. Steve and Marcy stop by and are alarmed
by what they see, and demand that everyone visit the dentist. Says Marcy, "I love going
to the dentist. A man in white hovers over me as I am strapped helplessly in a chair...
His instruments alive in my mouth. Then, when I can't take anymore he says, 'Good girl
Marcy, you can spit now'." For 1990 America, this was pretty shocking to hear on television.
Of course, Al says he never has gone to the dentist because he has never had a cavity.
Then, that night, Al's teeth begin to hurt awfully. He goes downstairs to grab a beer and
catches Kelly with a guy on top of her. Al puts the guy's face into the wall on the way
out the door. Kelly gives Al some senseless daughterly advice, while Al sprinkles his
beer on bread in order to drink it. The next day, Peggy sends Al to the Marcy's dentist
for more laughs.
The dentist, 'Dr. Plierson', is played by Joe Flaherty of SCTV fame. (For you youngsters,
SCTV was a popular Canadian comedy troupe in the '70's and '80's with people like John
Candy, Eugene Levy, Rick Moranis, Martin Short, etc.) Flaherty is absolutely hysterical
as the dentist going through a divorce. "She took me for $1.5 mil. She deserved it though.
She gave up a promising career as a waitress to be my wife of 6 months." Assisting Dr.
Plierson is the beautiful 'T.C.', played by former underage porn queen turned B-movie star
Traci Lords. T.C. is more than an "assistant" to the doctor, as she spends his money on
expensive coats and gets frisky with him in the office. The two are shocked by the state
of Al's mouth. Dr. Plierson has T.C. take photos of it, and then states, "Now make sure you
get a shot of the head, so they know it's a human mouth." Al is nervous, but Dr. Plierson
reassures him by saying, "Don't worry Bundy, I've done a thousand of these before, just not
all in the same mouth." After taking a few drinks, Dr. Plierson is ready for work when a
call from his ex-wife's attorney comes in. She wants his baseball cards, in addition to
all his money. This enrages Dr. Plierson, who is so mad that he shakes while drilling in
Al comes home to a lovely home-cooked meal, only to not be able to eat due to the pain the
trip to the dentist caused. You really feel sorry for him here.
10 out of 10 for me and definitely one of my three favorites of all time.
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